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elect club - personal introduction agency

Online dating satisfaction is low

Which? reports what we’ve been hearing for the last year or so from our members!

It says…

‘Online dating satisfaction is low

Unfortunately, despite the popularity of online dating, users of online dating sites do not rate any online dating provider highly enough to warrant Which? Best Buy status.

The average Which? customer score for online dating sites was just 46%. Even the highest-scoring supplier – Fit Lads with 59% – was quite low compared to user satisfaction levels for other industries’

in comparison with our, elect club’s satisfaction rate of 86% from our exit surveys.

So why is online dating disappointing the masses?

I would say a number of contributory factors, namely the high competition- for the girls, there’s always someone prettier than you, distracting the men with a bikini or photo-shopped shot. For the men there’s the oiled six-pack, too-good-to be true profile or exploitation of a puppy dog (as a recent owner, i say, shame on you!)

An online profile is the ultimate marketing challenge - gone are the days of ‘a clear’ head shot and a brief profile - you may as well submit a photocopy of your bottom and an ancient Hebrew manuscript for all the good that will do you!

Another factor is the timing issue. Online - there is such a perceived abundance, people can dip in and dip out (sometimes literally!) whenever they feel like it.

An inbox can be full with the right words and a Hollywood photo but the rest of the experience is often empty. A week’s worth of online dating can make the ’subject’ feel like they’ve been round the world and back screaming ‘is there anyone [for me] out there?!’

Of course it works for some people, as does The Atkins diet, but i certainly wouldn’t rely on it!

‘He can’t be over 5′9” declared a potential member at a recent consultation with Lucy, ‘because tall men cheat!’

The client was deadly serious and it got me thinking about the rules we all have about our potential dates and how ridiculous most of them are.

Why are they there in the first place?

Apparently everything we do is motivated either by the avoidance of pain or the pursuit of pleasure

So to this girl tall men represented pain…

Anthropologists would probably argue that we go through life ‘learning from experience’ in the manner of a monkey pressing a button that emitted a shock - the monkey would quickly learn that particular button equals pain. The monkey could justifiably extrapolate that all buttons are dangerous and should be avoided.

So how many tall men need to be unfaithful until we would avoid them all together? 2 or 3? 10? or maybe even the tale of a philanderous man of height may be enough…Our rule may be justified but is certainly not correct and when combined with many other ‘rules’ - all we do is narrow down the choice and limit potential relationships.

The rules work for the pursuit of pleasure too (think monkey pressing button that releases food - then buttons are great!)

Rules such as ‘I like Italian men’  - so all men from Italy are the same? they all look the same, have the same values, the same personalities, the same life experience? Or is it perhaps your idea of what Italian men are, that is the real value being represented here? ie the perception or one-time experience of a romantic Italian man? so the real quality is romance and not nationality.

All pretty obvious when explored only a little further but still could be a huge barrier when we’re looking for a relationship…

rules are there for a reason -we can’t feasibly date everyone we meet (although some of you have no doubt tried) and we have to discriminate on some level but i recommend trying to challenge your own rules with logic to see if you too could be missing the point…

I’ve been giving a lot of interviews to the press recently about elect and why i decided to set up a dating service that i would like. My explanation, without exception, always provokes the same response:

‘ But WHY would YOU need to use a dating agency!’ often teamed with a look of horror or total dumbfoundedness. Because i’m not a total geek, have developed social skills and am fairly presentable - it’s automatically assumed that i’d have an endless supply of besotted eligible guys determined to win my heart!

So what’s with the stigma of dating agencies? Fortunately its going, but i still don’t get why it was there in the first place? Surely anyone can see that it’s the same as any other introduction based service.

If you’re selling your house (unlikely right now I know..) and you go to an estate agent. Does everyone then look on aghast wondering ‘why YOU would need to use an agent?!’ does it reflect negatively on you - or your house for that matter? I don’t think so

I’m assuming the stigma came from the urban myth that only sad desperate singles use agencies. The only avenue socially inept misfits had the chance to find true love…

i don’t think the websites help much with their sickly sweet photoshop couples, doves flying off the page with phrases such as soul mates, find true love, looking for your other half? UGH! terrible!

The notion that you can ‘find’ true love is equally ridiculous (but thats for another blog!)

I think some people’s reticence to use dating agencies boils down to a fear of being judged (fueled by low self esteem and the need for acceptence- but isn’t everything according to psychoanalysts ) although, it is entirely understandable given the judgmental society we live in. I mean, the ever increasing tick list we’re expected to fulfill in order to be accepted by society obviously includes - true love should come easily and effortlessly and last for eternity- Any assistance we seek in this matter means failure we have ’something’ wrong with us.

But surely the ultimate judge is ourselves, if we can take responsibility for our own happiness, learn to understand ourselves and find a great relationship. who cares how we did it!

we are looking for a single girl who would like us to give her some free headhunting for a TV documentary.

She will need to be in her late 20s (no older than 30) look great, be confident in front of the camera and want to find the man of her dreams before she reaches the big 30.

If that sounds like you then get in touch asap!